Peer Pressure: Fitting In - by Carla Base
Eveyrone can recall a day or time in their lifetime
when they didn't fit in with some crowd. It was painful. As parents, we all
want our own children to always fit in, be best, top, best player, voted most
likely to succeed, be class president or best athlete. We want to be sure their
self esteem can soar, and they will not have to worry about bullies or not
fitting in because they have old clothes or tennis shoes, off brand items that
tell other kids they are poor, or just can't cut the cool mark. To be an amazing
kid these days, we find more and more they have to have designer clothes and
shoes and so many things it becomes ridiculous, yet if you don't give into some
of it, they can appear weak and uncool to other kids and be marked and marred
for life. We recall our own young lives and remember a time someone first
offered us a cigarette as a kid or drugs or both. We remember peer pressure to
do and say things that were outrageous at the time. We think of the dares and
the desire to fit in so badly, feeling shy, awkward and backward, stupid or
silly. We remember a speical girl or guy we tried to impress and our lack of
confidence and how even our grades seemed to depend on the attitude of teachers
toward us based on the standing we had socially. We want the best for our kids,
more than for ourselves and we hate it when they sulk. We want them to be
strong and independent and learn to save and to buy that first car the hard way
as we did but then we buy it for them anyway. We are softies and we know it. We
want them disciplined because we love them, yet sometimes we let them get away
with things and shouldn't have. Our emotions can get in the way of good sense
sometimes and it really doesn't even help them. We shuttle the kids to soccer,
T-ball and baseball, tennis and swimming, golf and football…dancing and piano
lessons, karate and the list grows….We want them to be the Barbie and Ken dolls
of our youth. They have an outfit for every occasion, spare no expense, with
all the adorning accesories. They will be everything, know everything and do
everything and be able to conquer it all. We want them accepted and to be top
in each field. But in this attempt to be sure they are well known, recognized
and fit in so well, what does that really do to the amount of peer pressure?
It is peer
pressure that will make a kid smoke the first cigarette.
It is peer
pressure that will make a kid accept trying a joint.
It is peer
pressure that will make a kid try harder drugs.
It is peer
pressure that can make a kid a member of a gang.
It is peer
pressure that will make a kid swear.
It is peer
pressure that will make a kid experiment
Don't be so
into making your kid like everyone else's because if you do it to the extreme,
you will have one just like everyone else's.
Teach your
child to have his or her own mind. Teach the reasons you do certain things and
why you do not do others. Be able to discuss everything and why it is so. Don't
ever assume a child is too young to hear whatever you have to say. Chances are
good he or she has already heard about it.
Don't be afraid
to teach morality and good reasoning. Teach your kids to be smart in a variety
of ways. Don't let them repeat mistakes of others. Let them observe from a free
school: Life around them. Point out ways to avoid lifetime errors early on in
their development. If everyone is doing it, it may be good enough reason NOT to
do it. Drugs are becoming a horrific
problem in our country early in grade school. We can hardly imagine a heroin
addict in grade school, but in Kentucky it is a reality. If our children are
over pressured and turn to readily available drugs, have no grounding in
morality and don't know why to choose to do or not do anything, they will
choose anything. Peer pressure is not just about a hairstyle anymore. It is
about life choices that can alter their course forever. Drugs are one of those
choices. Drugs fuel crime. Crime destroys cities and the fall of cities, the
fall of nations.